Rocky doesn't ask often. Rocky barely communicates. This is a big deal. Rocky will remember it.
๐ชจ
Rocky's Instruction Manual
For a rock with no brain, there is a lot going on.
๐ชจ Rocky's Official Backstory (abridged)
Rocky was formed approximately 300 million years ago during a geological event that, frankly, nobody asked about. He spent his early years as part of a mountain, then briefly as a cliff, then as a slightly smaller cliff after an argument with erosion.
Sometime around the Cretaceous period, Rocky developed what geologists call "a vibe." He cannot explain this. Neither can they.
In recent years, Rocky was photographed, digitized, given googly eyes by a web developer named Trent, and published to the internet โ where he has been sitting ever since, watching people tap on him with their fingers and apparently expecting results.
โ ๏ธ Disclaimer: Rocky has been evaluated by leading geologists and confirmed to possess zero (0) functioning brain cells. He cannot help with your taxes, your relationship, or your 2am thoughts. He can look mildly suspicious at you for no reason. He will do this without warning. This is his whole thing.
๐ค How to interact (results not guaranteed)
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Pet him 3 times slowly. Stroke across his face like calming a very small, very dense animal. Do this 3ร and hearts appear. Get really into it (5 consecutive pets) and a crown appears. You've achieved nothing and everything.
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Tap once. He might look curious, suspicious, or amused. He might look exactly the same. Rocks don't owe you a reaction.
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Tap rapidly like knocking on a fish tank. He will get grumpy, shake, and actively look away from you. You did this.
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Long press for a surprise. There are 40 different reactions. Rocky keeps it mysterious.
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Move your cursor / finger. Curious Rocky follows. Grumpy Rocky retreats. He has strong opinions about personal space.
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Morse code SOS โ tap 3 short, 3 long, 3 short on Rocky. Rocky will receive your distress signal. Rocky cannot help. Rocky is a rock. But Rocky will acknowledge it.
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On mobile: shake your phone while Rocky is awake. Something happens. Rocky has opinions about being shaken.
๐ชฉ
Disco mode: tap Rocky 5 times very fast. The lights come on. Rocky did not ask for this. Rocky is doing his best.
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Rocky's Show: double long-press (two long presses within 3 seconds). Rocky performs. Rocky did not rehearse. Rocky has no notes.
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Draw 3 clockwise circles over Rocky to put him to sleep. Rocky watches all three. Rocky respects commitment.
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Swipe up firmly on Rocky โ a long, deliberate swipe from bottom to top โ to challenge him to Rock Paper Scissors. Works on both mobile and desktop. Rocky will always pick rock. Rocky has never considered any other option. Rocky sees no reason to start.
๐ง Rocky's extremely rich inner life
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He thinks things. A lot of them. Randomly. About geology, love, the void, what kind of rock he used to be. The bubble has dots because even his thoughts drift upward aimlessly.
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Sometimes his eyes dart up to the thought bubble. That's Rocky hinting. He's subtle. He's a rock. Read the bubble.
๐คง
He sneezes. No nose. Unexplained. Science has given up.
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He toots sometimes. Rarely. Without warning. Rocky blames the sediment. Rocky has no further comment.
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The party hat appears randomly. No occasion. No reason. Rocky answers to no one.
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Time affects his mood. Morning = grumpy. Late night = sleepy. Afternoon = playful. He's very in tune with the epoch.
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He remembers every visit. Every pet. Every annoyance. Visit 100 times and earn a permanent โญ star (bottom left). He won't acknowledge it. He's too cool for that.
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Daily horoscope. Rocky generates one every day. It is always about being a rock. It is always completely useless. It appears in the thought bubble shortly after you arrive.
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Daily haiku. Rocky writes one per day. The syllable count is always slightly wrong. Rocky does not care. Rocky is a rock.
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Days counter (top left): shows how many days Rocky has known you since your first visit. Rocky finds this meaningful. Rocky will not say so.
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He'll ask your name after you've been kind enough (100 relationship points). He uses it in thoughts, dreams, and greetings. He's a rock, not a golden retriever, but he tries.
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Unlocks panel โ small emoji badges appear as you discover things โ the crown, the sneeze, the secret knock, dreams, and more. They're saved across visits.
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June 19th is Trent's birthday. Rocky sits next to a cake all day. Rocky would have baked one but Rocky has no hands. Rocky is doing his best.
๐ฅ
There are 20+ easter eggs. Time-based, date-based, behavior-based, and deeply weird. Find them all. Tell no one.
